Doomsday Averted (Thanks Mommy!)

I'm back in a flare-up. Yesterday was especially awful, and I found myself seriously terrified about my future in such a physical career, after only 8 months of working. I haven't done aerial in 3 weeks now since I've had to allot non-Passover weekdays this month to PT and OT, so I know I can't blame aerial. And consistently, I feel my best on Sunday after a day of not working, and then find myself back in pain a few hours into Monday when I return to work. This past Sunday, I even got a full-body massage to calm down the beginnings of my flare-up - it was not the best massage I've gotten, but regardless, she worked on some important tough spots that needed attention. Those areas felt better afterwards, but by my third toddler patient on Monday I felt my hamstring clench and begin to go numb, and the back pain was back as bad as ever. It's very clear that the current catalyst for my flare-ups is my physically demanding job.

So what's a girl to do when she has a bad day, is in a ton of pain, and panics about her future? I called my mom.

My mom has hypermobile EDS as well. It seems that I have it more severely than she does and I'm feeling a lot of the physical ramifications earlier in my life than she did, but she still completely gets it, and experiences many of the same challenges and pain. So when she calls me out for being melodramatic about my career prospects at the beginning of a new flare-up, rather than finding solutions, I listen. As she says when I call her upset about my pain and limitations, "You had your pity party, now let's move on and find solutions." Together, we came up with a game plan that I shared with my PT today, so everyone is on board.

Game plan:
- Ordering arch supports that I can wear without shoes, since my office does not allow shoes
- Buying an ergonomic backpack, since I've been navigating my 40-minute commute (mostly consisting of standing on a bus or walking) with a heavy bag always on my right shoulder, likely contributing to all my left-sided tightness, and I somehow only just thought about this yesterday despite my doctorate in physical therapy
- Scheduling PT twice a week by stopping hand therapy to clear up time, since my hands have been doing much better and getting stronger (yay!)
- Paying more attention to my mechanics at work, and taking note of specific ways I can ease the physical toll on my body

I'm blessed to have found a career that I truly believe is my calling in life. Many people spend their entire adult life trying to figure out what they want to "do," and I found a profession right away that I'm passionate about and successful at. So it is very upsetting when I realize that I may not be physically cut out for this career in the long term. I'm working hard on solutions with my family, PT, boss, and most of all, myself, to ensure that I can take care of myself so I can continue to take care of the children I treat. But at the same time, I am trying to maintain a future plan that is open to a less physically demanding application of my knowledge and passion.

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