I dunno about you...

But I'm feeling 82.
Basically, my new anti inflammatory medication that I started a month ago (salsalate) has been seriously messing with my stomach. I gave it a month to be sure, since with IBS it's hard to tell the source of the stomach flare-up, but it started acting up when I started the new medicine and it hasn't stopped. So I called my rheumatologist, who was wonderful enough to take time from her busy schedule and speak to me directly rather than relay the message through a nurse. She told me to stop taking any anti inflammatory until my stomach calms down, and then we'll go back to the naproxen (which had minimal side effects for me) at a higher dose in hopes of increased effectiveness.

All this is to say that for the last couple days I haven't taken any anti inflammatory medication and it's hitting me pretty intensely now. My back and SI hurt enough that I don't want to move (and I love moving!). My ankles and hands are taking turns throbbing, and my knees feel like they can't handle the pressure of my 20-minute walk from my bus stop to work every morning, let alone kneeling and crawling around on the floor with my little patients. My shoulders aren't staying in place so much, because the muscles don't feel like doing the work to keep them there. I'm covered in random bruises that I can't quite explain, but what's new. And my brain feels like a giant marshmallow when I wake up in the morning, when my patients walk in the door, when I space out during lunch break, when I go grocery shopping, when I get home and crash and still need to eat dinner somehow (somehow = thank god for my amazing husband). It certainly does not help that I just picked up my first pair of glasses that I'm supposed to wear all the time, and the prescription seems wrong (I see better without them) and they're giving me nice pressure headaches on top of the exhaustion/trying to hold my head up on an unstable neck headaches.

On top of that, I haven't exercised this week since I'm not feeling too hot. I can't even make it through all my supine PT exercises, so I'm definitely not about to try acrobatics on a pair of silk ropes 25 feet up off the ground. It's hard to muster the energy to make healthy meals, and I'm trying to eat bland, starchy foods to help my stomach calm down. And when I don't feel physically good in my body, I don't feel emotionally good in my body. I look in the mirror and just see FAT as I count my bruises. Never mind that my patients' moms keep commenting that I'm losing weight. (Side note - since when is it okay, even for Beverly Hills moms, to comment on their child's doctor's weight??) I just look in the mirror and see my brain marshmallow morphing into a giant body marshmallow.

So that's where I am right now. Looking forward to collapsing in bed as soon as I finish eating this ungarnished potato.

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