On Britney Spears and Being Okay

Alternative title: Britney Spears and the Societally Imposed Moral Burden on Individuals with Invisible Illness to Make you Feel Better


I had an upsetting revelation today, and it didn’t start with myself. Quite the contrary. It was pretty far removed from my life and my story. It started with a story I heard on the radio about a Britney Spears conspiracy theory. That’s right. Even Britney isn’t immune to conspiracy theorists. (Is NOTHING sacred anymore?)

The theory illustrates a situation in which Britney is held against her will in a mental health facility by her parents, managers, doctors, and basically everyone else in her life who the theorists could reasonably pull in. By tonight, the situation seems to have escalated to the point of death threats, and Britney felt pressured - no, compelled - to interrupt her safe haven and pop onto Instagram to show the world that she is okay, and to ask for a moment of privacy to heal.

Let’s take Britney and her fame out of it for a second. Here we have an individual who, whether by her own realization or by the insight of people close to her, needs to be in a specific location for her safety and well-being. She is a person on edge, struggling in ways that even those closest to her may not even realize or see. Whether physical or mental, she is suffering from an invisible illness. 

So she seeks help. She removes herself from her unhealthy situation and finds a tailored environment to regain the health, skills, and stability she needs to cope and survive.

The people who love her, near and far, are concerned about her. They stand outside her door and picket outside her window, letting their concern be heard. They shout and scream, invading her healing space with their concern. Somewhere, amidst her seeking help, the public decides that they are so concerned about her, that they need her to show them that she is okay.

Image result for britney spears with fansLet me say that again. 

The people around her are so uncomfortable with their worry and concern, that they put their emotional burden on a woman already using all of her energy to heal from her own stressors, asking her to comfort them that she is okay enough for them to move on with their lives. 

Britney’s story is large scale and sensational for public consumption. But she is not alone. Every day, thousands of people suffering from invisible illness, whether physical or mental, adapt their behavior in their most vulnerable of times to comfort those around them. 
Our society as a whole can do better. The burden of appearing “okay” to make others feel better should not fall to those who are trying their hardest, day in and day out, to heal and become truly “okay.” Being concerned about us and demanding our happy faces will not help us. We need understanding. We need acceptance. We need space, and we need human closeness. We need love and we need support. We need safety. We need you to be okay with us not always being okay,  because we are still learning for ourselves that it’s okay to not be okay. 

We need you to see that Britney Spears is one of us.
Image result for britney spears with coffee

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