One Year Aerialniversary

Today marks one year since I began my aerial journey. I was super excited to make it to class and take an awesome photo and write an excited blog post, but my back had other plans. I tweaked it with a patient on Monday, and it threw me into a full-blown flare up, just in time for a 5.5-hour cross country flight. 

But in the time that I would have been spending in an aerial class, I’ve spent some time reflecting on this year and what aerial has done for me. 

Since I began aerial, I’ve reintroduced stretching as an activity that is not just acceptable but important for my wellbeing. I received a diagnosis of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, began to explore treatment options, and met doubt about my new diagnosis. I gained confidence in my physical abilities. I gained strength through accepting my weaknesses. I splurged on some new braces and splints, and used every last insurance cent I could for medical testing before aging out of my parents’ healthcare plan. I met my favorite actress and allowed her to inspire me through her personal story and strength. I spent hours in hand therapy, physical therapy, and writing my blog in place of psychotherapy. I wobbled through some cool skills on aerial silks, and somehow made myself look graceful on Lyra. I tried a pole class and had no idea how to handle the sensual environment at that studio. I made new friends. I opened up about my health to old friends. I gave toddlers the strength to walk, and allowed myself to alternate between crawling and flying. I hiked mountains and hills. I sat by the ocean. I sat on my couch wrapped in ice packs and heating pads. I played on a Lyra by the ocean. I recognized my that my body has incredible abilities and heartbreaking limitations. I admitted my fears. I conquered some fears. I found new fears. I worried about falling behind my aerial classmates due to my inconsistent practice and limited energy for conditioning. I reminded myself time and time again that I am growing and improving as an aerialist, and drilled into my own head that my personal improvement, confidence, and safety are more important than keeping up with others. I discovered helpful medicines while I uncovered unknown allergies. I spent some nights awake wondering if my body can even handle practicing aerial, other nights wondering if my body can handle the ramifications of not practicing aerial, and still others wondering how I will continue to have time and money and energy to be a recreational aerialist in the distant future once I have a family to care for, on the basic assumption that of course I’ll continue aerial forever, because I love it, and it makes me happy, and it motivates me to keep my body healthy and to find peace with my body when it is not as healthy.

I’ve climbed and dropped and fallen and climbed and climbed again. Because this is my body, and I am so blessed to be able to use it as much as I do, even if it is not as much as I want to. So I better make sure my body is rested, strong, and prepared for the exertion when I do go to class, because the flying bug I caught as a young gymnast isn’t going anywhere, and aerial keeps me happy and fulfilled.

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